Last night, I took my kidlet out for dinner at a local Scottish restaurant. Dad was taking a class, and I did not relish the idea of heading home to cook for the two of us. It was beautiful, so we opted for the patio, of course. There were other tables with families and kids. There was also a table with a lone guy, drinking a pint, and smoking. We chose a table a bit farther away from him so we weren’t close to the fumes.
I should stop right now and tell you a couple things about me and my family. First of all, my kid is like Saffie from Ab/Fab; she has a strong sense of morals. She frequently comments on fashion being full of women dressed inappropriately. Drinking is gross — beer and wine taste the same in her mind. She thinks drunk people are dumb. I think you get the picture.
In contrast, I’m more like Eddy than I’d care to admit. Let’s say that I’ve been bad. I’m impulsive, passionate, and I’ve done a lot of drinking. I could write a book about bad one-night stands from my 20s. Many people would question my past decisions: I’m quite certain that my fashion choices are leave people in a state of “wtf?” Maybe the least of these is that I’m a former smoker, and I still do battle with tobacco’s role in my life. (I hope that I’ve kicked it for good.) Professionally, I’ve had big bad tobacco as a client, and I really liked that client for the most part.
Back to the patio smoker… Long story short, he had to move tables because he was under a canopy (against the law here), and moved beside us. I don’t think I’d have cared if I was alone, but my daughter turned around and basically gave him the evil eye.
I told her that smokers aren’t bad people and that he had the right to smoke on the patio. We were leaving soon, so there was no real harm. She went on to talk about a campaign directed towards parents asking them to prevent their kids from seeing movies with smoking, which she thought was “dumb” because “all kids know smoking is bad for you.”
We had a talk about peer pressure, subliminal messaging etc. I also tried to impart on her that most adults who smoke have a complicated relationship with smoking because I felt that I was going to die a slow death, sandwiched between my righteous tween and a man who was doing what he wanted to do, and was entitled to do.
I’m feeling kind of funny about a guy sitting on a patio beside a kid, and choosing to light up.
The public policy war against cigarette smoking has been won for the most part — you can see cancer research and associations shifting their foci to things like chewing tobacco and tanning, for example. Smokers have few places to go if they would like to light up. Patios are fair game, and this is supported by and large by restaurants who have patios and like people smoking and drinking and staying for a long time, spending money. I get all this, and a lot more of the nuances.
As a parent, if I want to sit on a patio in a licensed establishment in Ontario, and enjoy a meal with my child, I have to put her at risk. I know she isn’t going to die from that smoke, that one time. But it is a smelly nuisance for those not enjoying the ciggie, and it can instigate an allergy/asthma attack.
Would I have been an asshole for asking him to move? I’d love to know what you think.
By the way, had a heart attack in a bowl haggis poutine. Not Paleo. Freakin’ incredible.
